1950s SMALL TOWN LIFE: THE HAZARDS OF DATING

Tonight looked to be exciting. Neila had a date!! With any luck, she'd bring him back home and they would sit in the living room which was situated right next to the bedroom that Susan, Jan and I shared. We watched television with our parents until 10 p.m. when the news came on. Then we meandered one by one into our room, and put on our matching pink cotton shorty pajamas,  killing time until we heard the telltale slamming of two car doors.

"They're here!" Susan said, uncharacteristically interested.

"Mother and Daddy just turned off the tv and went to bed," I noted.

"I think I hear them," Jan added. "The front door just opened."

"Quick!" I said. "Shut the bedroom door." Something blonde flashed past me and hit the door with a quick slap, slamming it into the facing with finality.

Without consultation,  Susan and I ran simultaneously to the door to join Jan and each pressed an ear to the hard thick wood.

"I can't hear anything," Jan said in a stage whisper.

"Shhh," Susan put her finger to her lips and frowned at her.

I shrugged at Susan. "Nothing," I mouthed.

Just then we noticed Jan slidiing her head downward on the door. We didn't immediately understand why until we saw her grab the brown metal doorknob to stabilize herself so she could turn and peer through the keyhole. She squinted with her right eye and looked with her left, but she seemed to be having trouble getting anything in focus.

"Move over," I said, shoving her into the cedar chest beside the door.

I positioned my eye on the keyhole. "There they are. They're coming in the front door." I said with some excitement.

"Let me see, please," Susan said, edging me out of the way.

Jan pouted, sitting on the edge of the cedar chest. "I thought of it first," she said, sticking her lip out.

Susan was now sighted in on the green brocade couch, which sat directly opposite our bedroom door on the far wall of the living room, next to the front door.

She made motions with her long, delicate hands indicating that we should be quiet.

In just a few moments, though, she seemed to lose interest. "They're sitting on the couch. I don't think we should be doing this," she said. "It's not really very nice to Neila. She might get mad at us. Let's go to bed."

"Ok," Jan said too quickly.

"Wait, Jan," I said, trying to muster soldiers for a new plan I felt forming in my vacuous head.

"Let's jump from the chest of drawers to the bed,  then run to the cedar chest and open and shut the door while we do it.  We'll each start at a different place and cross in the middle."

The door would never stay shut for long by itself because the house had shifted and none of the doors fit perfectly in their frames.

The chest of drawers stood on the left side of the door,  with  the bed  situated lengthwise at a 90 degree angle to it;  the cedar chest was on the right side of the door.

"Ok," I instructed her, trying not to look at Susan's disapproving face. "You get on the cedar chest, and I'll get on the chest of drawers. When I tell you, pop the doorknob and swing the door toward me. You jump off the cedar chest and run across to the bed. I'll jump off the chest of drawers onto the bed, onto the floor, then catch the door and swing it closed,  run across the room and  jump on the cedar chest. Then we'll repeat it in reverse, with me popping the doorknob."

Susan made no secret of rolling her eyes.

"Get on the cedar chest," I told my minion, while I stepped nimbly from the bed onto the top of the chest of drawers.

"Ok," she said, turning and crawling up.

"You understand what to do?" I asked authoritatively.

"Uhuh," she said, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Ok, go!" I said jumping with all my might onto the bed, then bouncing up off it onto the floor and running across toward the cedar chest, hitting the door which had swung open.  I hit the door so hard with my flat palms that they felt like they'd been stung by a hundred bees.

Once Jan was in place on the chest of drawers, I gave the command again, then popped the doorknob, sending the door flying open.  Jan was to slam it shut, but she was not fast enough in getting down to the floor, so the door stayed open, and we had to hide, both of us now cowering on the bed, watching the door shimmy slightly on its  hinges.

"Felisa?  Jan?"  We heard Neila's voice and looked sheepishly at each other.  "What are you doing?  You should be in bed."

We didn't answer, but hunkered down now, dreading what came next.

She entered the doorway, and looked toward us.  Susan had burrowed down in her bed and pretended to be asleep.

"Now you need to go to sleep.  You haven't shown  Bill that  you have very good manners, now, have you?"

We ducked our heads, unable to meet her gaze.

"Sorry," Jan said, meaning it.

"Sorry, too," I said, probably meaning it.

"Goodnight.  Bill is going home in a few minutes.  See you in the morning."

"Night," we said, barely looking at her.

"That was dumb of us," I said, realizing that most of it was my fault.

"I agree," Susan said, suddenly awake.

"Neila's not mad", Jan offered.

"Yeah, but I feel stupid." I said. "Bill probably thinks we're idiots.  And what if he never asks her out again because she has sisters who act like monkeys?"

"Well, I don't think she really wanted to go out with him again," Susan said, "so maybe we did her a favor."  

"We'll find out tomorrow," I imagine, I said resignedly, pulling the sheet and bedspread over my head.

"Can we jump off the chest tomorrow?  That was fun!" my former minion asked. 

"You'll have to ask Mother; and for goodness sake, don't tell her that we already did it!"

I sank into the bed, pulling the covers tightly around me,  hoping to lose my immaturity in them.
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