Susan simply put her foot down firmly in the little patch of dirt under the swing, stood up, and held her book at her side. She noticed that Jan needed help, so she stood behind her swing and caught it on its next arc. Grabbing the wooden swing firmly by each side, she then quickly wrapped her hands around the triangular metal supports at the base of the swing seat, ran a few steps forward, then slowed the swing to a stop on the third step backward.
I was watching all this from an upside down position, my knees locked firmly around the bar from which I swung like a spider monkey. I prided myself on my ability to swing hard, bring myself to a sitting position on the bar, then back down, hanging again from my knees. I sometimes tried to show off, pretending I was a circus star.
When Jan and Susan began to walk toward the backyard and the car, which I could see was sitting near the back door of the house, I lost my concentration. The car had already been backed out of the garage, and I could see my dad sitting in it. That could only mean one thing. We were going somewhere, and he was ready to go.
In my haste to get to the car, I forgot momentarily that I was upside down, and somehow just straightened my legs, unlocking my knees from the bar. The result was a fall full force onto my abdomen, legs straightened out behind me.
When I hit the hardened summer ground, it did not yield. My body had to give in to it, and it simply knocked every puff of air I planned to inhale for the next few hours out of me immediately.
I lay there, unable to breathe, but feeling that I must. About the time I started to try to draw in some oxygen, feeling that an anvil was sitting on my chest, someone was there hovering over me. It was Mother, asking if I was okay, reassuring me that I had just gotten the breath knocked out of me. I was beginning to wheeze in, if that is possible, trying to restore my lungs to their previous size.
Our dad had pulled the car slightly past the swingset, and Susan and Jan were hanging out the back window, genuine concern on their faces.
Mother helped me up, still gasping, and carried me to the car, where I was laid down in the seat between her and my father. My head lay in her lap and my feet near him. Jan and Susan now peered over the back of the frontseat and stared at me as I made weird "whuuuuuuuu" noises, trying to get air back into my lungs. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see them. Mother was wiping dirt off my face with a tissue, and there was a small amount of blood where I had bitten the inside of my bottom lip when I fell.
"Wh.. uh...ere...are....wuh.....eee.....going?" I asked in the most strained voice imaginable.
"The drive-in." Daddy answered. "That okay with you?" He stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray on the dashboard and closed it tightly, patting my foot with his other hand. Patsy Cline crooned softly from the radio, her mellifluous voice floating into my ears like warm cotton, soothing and soft.
He knew it was. We loved going there. We could sometimes play on the small playground before the movies started. Supper was anything we wanted that the snack bar sold. It was best not to eat a lot of chilidogs or barbecue before playing on the merry-go-round, but my dad enjoyed food, so he let us have anything we wanted. Sometimes it took two people to carry all the food and drinks: chili dogs, french fries, icy drinks, and candy bars for dessert.
Later, if we were still hungry, we'd get popcorn to munch on. Usually, there were five of us: Susan, Jan and I and our parents. The older kids were teenagers by that time, and they were on dates or at other events. Elton had married sooon after he graduated high school and lived in Corsicana with Deanna.
Most of the shows we saw were westerns or comedies.
But tonight, my parents had brought us to see the movie Elmer Gantry. I doubt they really knew what the content of the movie was, and there was no rating system, but when Gantry went to a room at the back of the tent where he had held a revival and met with a woman who was scantily clad, our parents decided we needed to go play on the merry go round. I don't know for sure that the room was at the back of the tent because I had been distracted poking and hitting Jan trying to get more room to stretch out in the back seat. But it seemed like one minute he was pounding his fist on the podium, and in a blink he was in the room with the lady.
Our parents knew once we were involved in our play, we would pay no attention whatsoever to the movie. They had probably figured we would be asleep by that time as often happened.
We didn't stay out long because the mosquitoes were thick in the air and bit us unless we were spinning fast on the merry go round. We soon ran back to the car, jumped in, and were glad for the smell of the little coil of Caracol that was burning in the car, keeping the mosquitoes at bay.
I was troubled by Elmer's behavior, but I didn't know what to think about it. When I tried to bring it up to Mother later, she dismissed my questions and I could tell that I did not need to continue my investigation into the matter, at least not with her. But I went over the things I couldn't understand about him repeatedly in my mind, like aerating a prized plant,turning the dirt over and over and over.
All I knew was that Elmer Gantry was much different than our beloved pastor, Chet Reames. Elmer was someone, somewhere else, and I didn't know the meaning of the word hypocrite yet.
On the way home, I wanted to get up in the area under the back windshield. I could fit comfortably in there, and then Susan and Jan could have lain down in the backseat, one against each locked door, feet passing at midline. Daddy wouldn't hear of it; I knew better than to mention that Mother let me do it when he wasn't in the car.
The three of us tried various configurations of our legs, arms, and bodies for the entire duration of the 20 minute ride home, but never got very comfortable.
When I started whining about wanting to ride up above the backseat, my dad almost forgot to remove the movie speaker from its clasp on the window. He started to pull out, then all three of us screamed "Daddy" simultaneously, causing him to slam on the brakes, avoiding jerking the speaker and wire from its parking meter type stand.
The next morning we got up early for Sunday School and church. Mother started to say something, caught herself, then decided to go ahead.
"Felisa," she said, "let's not ask any questions about the movie at church."
"Yeah," Susan said. "Remember when Gelene was talking about sin and asked what some sins were and Felisa said 'my daddy drinks beer and my mommy says s....?"
"Ok, Susan, that's all we need to hear of that," Mother said sharply. She hardly ever corrected Susan. Of course Susan didn't talk as much as I did, and she certainly didn't tell the family secrets as I did. I think by telling my Sunday School teacher, I was just trying to get someone who I felt sure had a closer relationship to God than I did to intercede on behalf of our family. Anxiety followed me then like a wild dog on a leash. I didn't really want to let go of it, yet I couldn't control it.
I remembered the day I had "confessed" those sins for my parents. Gelene had an odd reaction. She smiled, then almost laughed. I was dead serious, so I kept staring at her. Finally, she said we should pray about it, and all five of us in the class bowed our heads. Then she said it would be a silent prayer, so I just had to hope she discussed our family with God. I sure did.
When Sunday School was over that day, I played around outside a little, chasing Ricky and Marie before heading in to sit with Mother. She and Gelene were standing in the middle section of pews, the fifth pew from the front, and Mother had leaned over at the waist and was laughing, while Gelene wiped her own eyes with a tissue, the corners of her mouth turned up, not down like she was crying. As soon as I came down the aisle, they got real quiet, and Mother gave me a little squeeze and two pats as we sat down.
Today, though, my lips were a steel vault with a secret combination. Nothing would pass through them about the movie, not my questions about Elmer Gantry and the woman in fancy underwear, nor how he could seem so sincere and then act like a different person when the worshipers left.
During Sunday School, when they asked for prayer requests, I sat mute. Susan shot a look at me once, but I acted like I didn't see her. When we went out to the auditorium for the service, I sat as close as I could get to Mother. I could feel her hipbone agaist mine. Once she nudged me to scoot over a bit, and then Jan laid her head down in Mother's lap, so I concentrated on my coloring.
Brother Reames (we called our pastors brother so and so) preached and talked, and I believed he meant everything he said. In fact, I asked if I could put an extra quarter in when the offering plate came around. I think it was just to make me feel better about whatever it was Elmer Gantry was doing, hurting the name of good preachers everywhere.
Daddy didn't always come with us. Sometimes he did, but not today. I guessed he thought he had heard enough preaching by Elmer Gantry on Saturday night.
Installed
1 comment:
I started laughing in the middle
and kept on. The part where the Mother and her friend Gelene are laughing is a hoot!
Post a Comment